Did you see last week’s episode of 16 and Pregnant? Don’t judge me, that show is addictive. Each week they showcase a teenager who is on the cusp of delivering a baby. Nearly all of the moms are making babies with complete losers. Seriously. The one good example of a father made the decision to give the baby up for adoption along with his girlfriend.
Last week’s teen mom started out like a simpleton. She was putting her baby’s coming home outfit on the family dog. I cringed at what was to come next, but she matured a lot during that 60 minutes.
Like all the other teen moms, she was desperately hanging on to her no good boyfriend. He repeatedly showed her he was not interested in being a father. He talked down to her, he rarely came to see his child and he didn’t even come around when the baby came home from the hospital after being in NICU. A real winner this one was. His concerns were hunting. That’s all he wanted to do.
Towards the end of the episode he sent the teen mom a really hateful text message. He called her a “stupid stretch mark bitch” and some other names and made reference to signing away his rights to “that mistake”. My heart broke for that girl and her child.
She made steps to have his paternal rights terminated and have the baby’s last name changed to hers. This is where I got a little confused. I didn’t know how I felt about it. Part of me was all “right on!” because he had been such a jerk. Another part of me thought she was making a hasty decision that she might regret some years down the line. After all, it’s possible that he will mature and actually regret his behaviour. He might end up actually being in his daughter’s life.
The attorney said something to the teen mom about her wanting to have the same last name as her daughter. I was reminded of my own mother. When I was a teenager, I asked my mom why she didn’t go back to her maiden name after she divorced my dad when I was just 4 years old. She told me she wanted to have the last name as me, especially when it came time to enrolling me in school and whatnot.
That stayed with me and I always assumed I would have the same last name as my children. Here I am 3o-something years later, and Foxy and I will not have the same last name. At times it makes me sad and I feel like I have failed her. Other times, I think that’s how it is in these times and Foxy will likely be like a lot of her classmates.
But I wanted her to be special.
Do you have the same last name as your children? How important do you think it is to have the same last name? Do you think it is more important to the parents or the child’s image?