Pants on Fire

Do you confront someone when you catch them in a lie?  Do you acknowledge that you know the truth?

Does the severity of the lie matter? 

Like, if your mate says s/he dropped the clothes off at the dry cleaners, and you know for a fact they are in the trunk of the car?

What if a friend cancels lunch with you because she isn’t feeling well and you see her out shopping with other friends?

What if your spouse says they are working late and you find a receipt for dinner at an intimate restaurant for the same timeframe?

At what point do you speak up?  And once you decide to speak up, how do you go about doing so?

Are little white lies a precursor to bigger lies?

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17 Responses to Pants on Fire

  1. Honest says:

    I think the severity of the lie does matter. If your spouse says he dropped off the laundry and it’s in the trunk I won’t be as pissed off or hurt as one who says he’s working late but is in fact out at romantic dinner spot and his bill shows he’s paid for two. In all instances you gotta speak up early. After catching them in the lie it becomes about me and my feelings. I need to get it off my chest.

  2. Barista says:

    Lying is a pretty big deal to me. In my head if you’re lying about something as stupid as leaving the dry cleaning in the trunk – what else are you lying about? I’ll admit I have trust issues, so these little white lies are a big deal to me.

    With friends – I think it’s just stupid. If you don’t want to have lunch with me tell me – it doesn’t have to be that serious and if you think you have to lie we probably shouldn’t be friends. I’d confront someone pretty much immediately after discovering a lie. Not necessarily start a big fight, but I wouldn’t let it go.

    Last summer when Mr. D was sleeping over I lied and told him I wasn’t letting Buddy sleep in my bed anymore. It was killing me inside that I’d lied and I recently confessed…stupid lie? Totally. But I needed to come clean.

  3. Ames says:

    I’d be more disturbed the smaller the lie. I understand lying to protect yourself but lying about stuff that does not matter makes me think the person is dangerous.

    If I care about the person I ask immediately about the lie. If I don’t care about the person I say nothing, label them a liar and trust nothing they say..

  4. Gladys says:

    If I catch them, I say something to entice them to fess up. I’d make them feel so uncomfortable that they’d have to come clean. If they didn’t, I’d just let them know what I know and tell them, “You don’t have to lie, Craig!” LOL!

  5. Michael says:

    Clothes in the trunk – thats scarey because, whats the point of lying about that unless its to cover up something bigger!

    Friend cancels lunch – that will get you pushed out of the inner circle and placed into the whenever box! Lifetime friends don’t do that, at least guys don’t!

    Receipt for dinner – that will(and recently did) get somebody cancelled!

  6. Ms. Smart says:

    I take them all as learning experiences. People lie about the things they care about or think you care about. I would watch and see if it’s a pattern. If it is, I’d be out and wouldn’t say why.

  7. SHERRI says:

    I think it depends and some things are silly. And all white lies are not a precursor to bigger things.

    Laundry? Maybe they are fibbing b/c you can be a real pain in the azz when they forget something. Plus if you know the clothes are in the car, why ask if they took them to the cleaners?

    Dinner for Two? Yea, that’s serious.

    To me, look at the intent and look at what the outcome can be.

  8. onefromphilly says:

    It depends on how I feel at the moment. I usually go with the way I feel. Some days I feel highly confrontational and that means I’ll let no lie go unchallenged. Most days I feel like if it isn’t major, like the friend lying about lunch, I’ll never speak on it. But my mate lying about where he was gets addressed immediately.

  9. jamie says:

    I was faced with this situation this morning, I caught a subordinant in a lie, allowed her ample opportunity to own up, she didn’t and instead expanded upon the original lie, I calmly allowed her to spin out more than enough rope to hang herself, confronted her with the video evidence, watched in amusement as she began to crawfish and tried to explain the lie away, put on my best confused “I must have gotten things wrong/thanks for setting me straight/everything’s gonna be alright/don’t worry about it” face and sent her back to work with a list of the hard digusting jobs to do where she will continue to work like a busy little bee until round about 4:55 pm when I gonna make myself a big cup of Maxwell House Coffee and call her into my office and fire her after squeezing out that last drop of work.

    Well, damn.

  10. jamie says:

    … and yes she did cry and beg and plead and I just twisted the ends of my handle bar mustache and let out a villianous laugh as security led her out of my office and escorted her from the building.

    • cbean says:

      ROFL. Man you are hard-core!!

      • jamie says:

        actually, I felt so bad for her that I threw up into my waste basket as soon she left and cried in my car all the way home because I know she needed the job and won’t be able to pay her bills will lose her house and be out in the street living under the viaduct downtown.

  11. busybodyk says:

    A lie is a lie is a lie. I’m confrontational so I can’t hold it in. I react to them all with the appropriate degree of agitation.

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