I’m running short on entertaining topics, so today I thought I’d share the story of how I came to find out I was pregnant and how I told Tim. It’s a long one, so grab a cold drink and follow along.
Picture it, Fall of 2009…
For those of you that have been following me for some time, you may recall I was dealing with serious insomnia back then. For reasons I couldn’t at the time explain, I had trouble sleeping. I would wake up every single day at 4am wide the hell awake. I was perplexed because I was never one to have a problem sleeping.
Night after night, I would wake up and just lay there wondering what was going on. One morning, as I laid in my bed angry because I couldn’t sleep, I called out to the Lord and asked what he was trying to tell me. Like, for real for real, I called out to him, yo. Then, a voice in my head told me to get up, get dressed and go get a pregnancy test.
My monthly cycle was only two days late, and I was just coming off of some meds that were making my system a little wacky, so I never considered that pregnancy might be a problem for me. Still, I was obedient and got out of my bed at 430 in the morning and went to Wally’s World. I bought one pregnancy test and one bottle of chocolate milk (the beginning of a vicious addiction).
I came home and took the test and what’ya know…I saw the slightest hint of a faint double line. I was shocked. Shocked, I tell ya! But since the line was so faint, I figured it was wrong. I went about my business and got dressed for the day.
While at work, I could think of nothing else. Picture me sitting at my desk on my blackberry googling “faint line pregnancy test” or the like. By the time the end of the day arrived, I was anxious to go home and take the test again.
Just like my SATs, I didn’t do any better. I saw another faint line.
The next morning as I was driving to work, I called my OB/GYN. I felt so weird telling them I needed to come in for a pregnancy test. I had just been there the month before for my annual exam. They were able to fit me in that afternoon.
I already had an appointment scheduled with those c0ckcuckers over at Ge.orgia Can.cer Specialists, so I made an appointment to get the test just before that. I arrived at my appointment where they directed me to pee in a cup. I expected to have a blood test done to prove that I wasn’t with child, but they assured me the urine sample would be accurate.
As I was going into the bathroom, I informed her that I had taken two tests but the line was faint so I didn’t think I was pregnant. She laughed and said it just probably meant I was early in my pregnancy. About two minutes after I took the test, the nurse came out and ever so casually said, “yep, your pregnant!”
She continued rambling, “and according to the date of your last period, you are due on June 6th.” I sat in a stupor. Here she was rattling off information about due dates and I was still trying to comprehend the fact that my test was POSITIVE.
I proceeded with my day in a trance. I went to my next appointment and had to fill out new patient paperwork. There was a section asking if I was pregnant and I had to mark YES. I had to explain to the nurse that I literally just found out I was pregnant. Like, 30 minutes before I arrived.
Next, I went to visit Safety and her husband who were in the same hospital for a procedure he was having. I had made plans to visit them days before, and I wanted to make sure I did my BFF duties and stopped by. I hardly recall the details of that visit. I wanted to burst into tears and tell Safety my news, but I knew I had to tell Tim first. Months later, Safety would tell me she knew something was wrong with me that day. She said I was acting kind of out of it and I turned down the peanut m&m’s she offered me.
After I left the hospital, I headed to meet Tim and the boys for dinner. Again, it was already on my calendar, and I was trying to go about my day as scheduled. My plan was to put on a happy face and not mention anything to Tim until we were alone.
We sat there eating and then the boys went off to play video games. Tim and I started talking and somehow the subject of my period came up. Next thing I recall, I blurted out that I was pregnant.
And then I started to cry.
Tim very calmly and cooly looked at me and said, “you can’t cry in Cici’s pizza.” Then he said, “we’re going to be alright.”
I nodded my head and dried up my tears before the Offspring came back to the table.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it and say that it was been an ABC Family movie since that night. There has been a lot of fear, anguish and disagreements. I still lose sleep most nights, but in the end, things seem to be working out for the most part.
Sometimes I think back to that day. The day I found out I was going to be a mother. The day I told Tim he was going to be a father.
Here we are, 7 months later, and it looks like things really are going to be alright.