Tim’s Version

The Day the Earth Stood Still

I remember the day like it was yesterday. My boys and I were headed to our weekly CiCi’s Pizza dinner. I asked my new squeeze, Babs, to meet us that afternoon. We had been dating for a short period of time and I was really enjoying getting to know her. She was absolutely beautiful, very witty and a joy to be around. Long-term companion? I wasn’t sure yet.

As Babs entered the restaurant, my boys reacted as they always did when they saw her- with genuine excitement. We made small talk and then the kids ran off to play.  I asked her “How was your day?” and she responded “I am pregnant.”

Pause

She then began to cry. Why was she crying? Was she upset with her choice of men to procreate with? Was she afraid that I would abandon her and the baby? Was she concerned of what public perception would be being a single mom? All of these thoughts ran through my mind in a matter of moments.

And then she proceeds to turn red and cry even more. In her eyes I saw fear and disappointment. In the calmest voice I could muster, I grabbed her hand and said  “Babs, you can’t cry in CiCi’s Pizza.”

For me that was the defining moment in our relationship.

My immediate concern was her well-being. We talked many times of the shortcomings of her father throughout her childhood and even now as an adult. I wanted her to know that I would never abandon my child regardless of what our situation turned out to be. I was a real man who believed very deeply that a man handles his responsibility.

I never had any doubt as to what type of mother Babs would be because she is phenomenal with my boys. My boys are normally reserved with new people and I never introduce them to someone I am dating until I know that this person will be around for a while. When they met Babs they were immediately drawn to her. It’s something that took me aback but made me take notice.

I was most concerned with my ability to take care of my new family. I knew that financially they would always be comfortable, but I wondered if I had recovered enough from my divorce to be the man I needed to be for them. A man who has been hurt in the past is a man who proceeds with extreme caution and at the first sign of trouble is ready to bail. For a man that is the easiest thing to do rather than to stay and work things out.

I won’t lie and say that this pregnancy has been a cakewalk because it hasn’t. In a short amount of time, we have had to learn each other quickly and also adapt to being parents together. I can honestly say that Babs has been the glue that has kept us together.

So now, being only a few weeks away from delivery, my days are filled with thoughts of my beautiful lady and our daughter that will be here soon. I thank GOD every day for blessing me with a tremendous woman in my life and the daughter that I have always desired.

In me they will never have a perfect man, but they will always have a man in their lives that will always be thinking of ways to make their lives easier. An honorable  man whom they can always be proud of and a man that will always love them.

Thank you GOD for my tremendous blessing.

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23 Responses to Tim’s Version

  1. CreolePeach says:

    Beautiful. Babs, whenever you wonder if things begin to feel anxious, just re-read this. Anytime you have such honesty and willingness, everything WILL be okay.

  2. dmac says:

    Tim really does seem like a good guy and really, what more could you ask for?

  3. Krissy says:

    Let me just say that I think this is awesome. I so wish you two the best in this new chapter in life. Seems like you guys have already started making the best of an unplanned situation. What more can you ask for. A supportive partner makes pregnancy so much easier.

    I need Tim to have a talk with my Sperm Donor about being a man and taking care of his responsibility. My Princess is lucky to have someone in her life who didn’t help create her but has been there with me since before she came into this world who treats her like he treats his own.

    I can honestly say, I’m blessed and you and Tim seem to be blessed as well.

  4. CaliSlim says:

    I love the honesty and thoughtfulness of this post. I know I was happy and scared for you both when I heard the news, but you really have handled this with love, consideration and committment. May God continue to bless your family!

  5. busybodyk says:

    Tim is a good man.

  6. justine says:

    Aaawww, this is lovely… talk about a ‘real man’ 🙂

  7. Gladys says:

    Such a beautiful testament of the love you two have for each other. Y’all gone be alright! 🙂

  8. Tiffany In Houston says:

    Knowing Babs feelings about growing up without her dad in her life and then reading this makes me tremendously happy that Foxy will have such a wonderful daddy and big brothers to love and cherish her. And it warms my heart that Babs has found the love and support she so richly deserves.

  9. Tazzee says:

    *tears*

    Thanks for the other version. Both of you are blessed to have one another and I’m so happy for you.

  10. doahleigh says:

    I love hearing from the significant others of my favorite bloggers. This was a great perspective to read. Thanks Tim!

  11. *Coop* says:

    Crying. Literally crying at my doggone laptop.
    Somebody pass me some tissha.

    Tim is awesome!

  12. Mrs TDJ says:

    Thanks for sharing Tim! Wishing all the best to you guys as expecting parents!

  13. amyg says:

    Thank you both so much for sharing…I love Tim!

  14. This really touched me today. Thanks to Tim for sharing this insight. It is wonderful to hear from a man’s point of view how to adapt to life’s twists and turns. Babs you have found a good man and you both are already wonderful parents. Congrats on your blessing that is on the way !

  15. AR Gal says:

    This was great. How lucky you all are to have one another. Congratulations (again) to the entire family.

  16. onefromphilly says:

    Some of the best things in life are unexpected.
    Thanks for sharing, Tim.
    I can’t wait for Foxy to get here!!!

  17. Tiombe25 says:

    SO SWEET heart warming! So happy for you both!

  18. Ames says:

    awwwwwwww-eeeeee (with an e).

    Foxy is blessed to have a father who appreciates and honors that role.

    Speaking from my own experience it is wonderful to witness your daughter receive all the things you did not get from your own father. And to witness her take it all for granted because that is all she knows. Exhale.

  19. V Renee says:

    How sweet!! Loves it!

  20. Michael says:

    No need to shout “Man Up” at Tim! Tim is the man!

    Thats a good dude Babs!

  21. sumthought says:

    The one day…ONE DAY…I miss a page from one of my fav bloggers and its the requested “His Version”.
    Adaptability, consideration, and honesty is straight up sexy!
    Y’all rock for bringing a [real] perspective!
    Thanks Babs! Rock on Tim!

  22. t. sheree says:

    Beautiful story…full of love and honesty. Thanks again for sharing!

  23. nineteen69 says:

    Maturity, Wisdom and Patience make for great parents. Love this.

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