Opinions are like Earlobes

Allow me a few minutes to rant.  I am annoyed with people in general.  By “people” I mean everyone related to me.

I get sick and tired of people giving me unwanted advice regarding my child or choices I make regarding my child!  All weekend long, all I heard were tones of disapproval and questions regarding my child-rearing choices.

I had more than one person give me a disapproving look when I gave Foxy a pacifier.  I found myself trying to explain how I talked to the nurse about pacifiers and how newborns have a NEED TO SUCK and how I would rather she suck on a pacifier than her fingers.

More than one person commented on the fact that she wasn’t wearing socks or shoes.  Again, I found myself explaining that sock and shoes don’t fit her and if they find some that do they can send them my way.   I had to remind them that it was ninety-flipping degrees outside and she wasn’t in danger of catching a cold.

People thought I was holding Foxy too much and that I should let her cry it out.  At 6 weeks?  Get the fugg outta here.  Perhaps that’s why you raised unruly children that don’t even call you on holidays.  I’m NURTURING my daughter thank you very much.

Today I received an email from someone that noticed a few heat bumps on her wrist IN A PICTURE and cautioned me to keep her cool.  Ummm, excuse me, I LIVE IN MONKEYFIGHTING ATLANTA, GEORGIA!  It’s only cool here in the winter.  Perhaps they think I should not leave the house in order to keep her cool 100 percent of the time?

I have really had it with these well-meaning individuals.  From now on I refuse to entertain people’s criticisms and if they start again they are going to be met with complete radio silence. 

Unless they are gonna pony up a couple of bucks to pay for her hospital bills or their name is Tim (insert last name) they can really keep all of their opinions to themselves.  All of them.  Because, trust me, if I am seeking advice I am not afraid to speak up and ask. 

Did you find that people were constantly critisizing/questioning your abilities to raise your child?

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19 Responses to Opinions are like Earlobes

  1. Joe Ann says:

    I am so feeling you! I think people mean well, just have no idea how annoying unwanted advice can be.

  2. Rehab says:

    Geezuz.. I can only imagine. I’m curious tho, what’s the big deal about the whole socks and shoes thing? I mean even if they did make shoes to fit Foxy, what was so egregious about having her toes out in the middle of summer?

  3. Coco says:

    I so agree with you in general but especially on the pacifier. My mother refused to give me a pacifier as a child. While in psychology class in college I learned that because of her I developed an oral fixation (my fixation became biting my nails which I didn’t grow out of until I was probably a college senior. And to this day I still find myself occasionally sicking my fingers in my mouth which I know is quite disgusting.) The fixation developed b/c I didn’t have anything to put in my mouth but it can also develop if you take it away too soon or if you don’t take it away soon enough.

  4. amyg says:

    I still get the sock thing with my kids and they are a tad older!

    • amyg says:

      PS. You are doing everything right. Keep telling yourself that! You were one of the most calm, cool and collected new mommies I have seen! Foxy is a lucky girl!

  5. Christina says:

    ohhhh, do I! If my mother threatens to call 911, child services, etc, because she can hear Izzy crying about NOTHING (because she can’t have my cell phone, a toy is stuck under the couch, i wont let her pull my earrings out, she cant get to dvd player, etc) I may just forget she’s my mother. Do these people think that we ( grown, married women, no less)are really THAT incapable of understanding the very basic things in childcare that they seem to find is SO irresistable to comment on? I dont get it, lol.

  6. KLB says:

    my little girl is 6 weeks also and my first child; and everyone and the grandmother has “advice” and are quick to “advise” me on all the things i’m doing “wrong”…..ok

  7. LOL!! Tell ’em why you mad son!! I totally understand though. The only person that really has to raise your kid is YOU. Give them a strong side eye and tell them to keep it moving.

  8. pserendipity says:

    People didn’t catch a glimpse of Aidan until he was about 8 weeks old. By then they were so happy to see him, they didn’t care what I was doing! My mom was there 24/7, so I can’t remember receiving too much advice from anyone but her.

    About the pacifier thing, I didn’t know that. Aidan was never interested in a pacifier and he would always spit it out…but he did start biting his nails after that. We just figured it was because his friend at school did it. Hmmm, that’s something to think about.

    • Nerd Girl says:

      Ditto. Most of my advice came from my Mom, but she’s laid back, so I didn’t find it annoying.

      And Lovegirl wouldn’t take a pacifier, but she’s been a thumb sucker since the beginning. And at nearly six, still is. People give me much crap for it, but whatever. I tell her to stop and move on. As long as she’s not sucking it when she gets her PhD, I don’t really care.

      • missmajestic says:

        I sucked my left ring and middle finger until I was 13, on my own cold turkey. I stopped doing it in public in front of others when I was 8. I wouldn’t take a pacifier. I’d push it out in favor of my fingers. the doctor said I probably sucked my fingers in the womb. My parents tried EVERYTHING some of which I’m sure they’re now ashamed to admit they did. I never had buck teeth or anything like that.

  9. krissy says:

    I never got any negative remarks. I have 12 nieces and nephews and 3 god children so I already was a pro with kids and with my own mothering just comes natural.

    Take it all in stride. If u feel like you are doing the right things, keep it up!

  10. t. sheree says:

    Maybe they feel like it’s a chance to redeem themselves about all the things they did wrong or didn’t know. And in that case, they should have another kid. 😉

  11. C says:

    I notice that family members that can’t even control their own always have an opinion for someone else’s.

  12. keyalus says:

    I didn’t get so much criticism as “This is how we used to do it” type stuff from my mother-in-law. I disagreed with a lot of that stuff from things I’ve read. The Mister and I nearly went toe-to-toe about putting Lewis to bed on his stomach and putting cereal in his bottle. Both of these ideas were put in his head by his mother.

    I know they did things differently back in the day and I know the kids turned out just fine, but it is hard for me agree with something I feel is unsafe. I just smile and bite my tongue…

  13. 1969 says:

    Just smile and nod your head and ignore. Worked for me. 🙂

  14. Petite Pearl says:

    I know what you mean and I’ve not even had my baby yet. People give so much advice and it’s never anything I haven’t already heard. Get your sleep, enjoy your husband, vacation before the baby comes. I’ve heard all these things before and I’m doing most of them. I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to have a baby. This was a conscious decision.

  15. dmac says:

    Yep. My youngest is 10 and “folk” STILL think they know better than my husband and I what’s best for him, LOL!

  16. kimmy says:

    Oh yes! It’s so annoying! You just have to ignore it give the silent treatment like you said to avoid SNAPPING! What really gets on my nerves is when you’re out in public and complete strangers try to give you “advice”

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