Nuckin Futs!

I often fantasize about raising up out of this piece and moving to a bigger and newer home.  But because my home is like the Titanic (read:underwater) I am forced to continue living here because I can’t sell it.  Sometimes I think I could just rent the place out but then I hear stories like the one my grandmother is dealing with and I know that renting isn’t for me.

My grandmother owns a small piece of rental property.  She originally bought it so her sister could live across the street from their mother in order to take care of her.  After my great-grandmother passed away, my aunt eventually moved to another part of town.  My grandmother continued to rent the place out and had no problems until this last tenant.

This nutbag (who hasn’t paid rent since March) was on some different kinda ish.  ike, seriously, she clearly has deep mental issues.  She lived in a house full of cats and cockroaches.  My friends, I am not exaggerating in the least.  She lived in a house FULL of cats.  She would leave open cans of tuna on the front porch for neighborhood cats to come and eat.  Which they did, and brought along bugs too.  The neighbors complained to the city because the odor was so bad they had to cross the street in order to pass the house.

My grandmother received a letter from the city ordering her to clean the house up.  She called the lady and told her she was going to have to move and hired some people to go in and clean it out.

And if you thought I had gotten to the disgusting part of the story you are mistaken…

The cleanup guy goes to the house to check it out and calls my grandmother.  He tells her it is the worst case he has ever seen.  When he opened the door he said it was like “a bucket full of roaches” falling on his head. Shiiiiiiittttt!!!!!

He said he found three dead cats in the house in addition to the dozen or so live cats and all of their cat feces inside.

Roaches.Feces.Dead cats.Live cats.

Have a painted a pretty horrific picture?  Yeah, thought so.

So my grandmother is really upset.  She, of course, refuses to go there.  The guy has promised that he can get the house completely clean and get some good renters in there.  But let’s be honest, is that house ever really gonna be clean?

I told her she needs to sell it, but she said it’s been on the market for years.  It’s in a poor(er) part of town and even with a $35,000 price tag no one is showing any interest in buying it.

I told her we could go over their in the middle of the night and light that bad boy on fire and she looked at me with all seriousness and said, “that’s not a bad idea.”

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12 Responses to Nuckin Futs!

  1. GeckoGirl says:

    You may not be as underwater as you think. There are a few foreclosures in our neighborhood and one neighbor whose house is listed for tens of thousands less than what they paid for it ~2004. However, we had our house appraised in order to refi and it’s only worth 7.5% less than we paid for it in 2006. Depending on when you purchased, you might be able to break even on the sale.

  2. krissy says:

    Lol i’d like it on fire too!

  3. Christina says:

    My imagination is waaayy too vivid, because when the part about the “roaches being dumped on his head” oohhhhh, that made my skin crawl. Roaches make me sick to my stomach. I’ll put my name down on the petition to just burn it. blech.

  4. Gladys says:

    “The roof, the roof is on fire!” Burn it down to the ground, I say. That’s the only way to get rid of all those dang roaches and cats. Make sure the lady isn’t in there, though.

  5. Disco Diva says:

    My job search has totally changed because most companies (including mine) don’t have the relo package where they take care of the house if you can’t sell it…and I don’t want to pay a mortgage and rent somewhere else. Sometimes its not the value…its the fact that for the same price, people can get newer and bigger. My value hasn’t dropped that much (but the more frigging renters and foreclosures the more likely it will) but why buy this Thouse when you can get a newer full house for the same or slightly more? Sigh…

  6. CaliSlim says:

    Wah wah. Whatever keeps your azz in Atlanta heffa! lol

  7. KJ says:

    LMBO @ your Grandmother’s response. *In my Usher voice* I think that you should let it burn!

    • KJ says:

      Oh yeah…had a flashback of the scene from MTV’s Joe’s Apartment where all the roaches fell on his date. *shivering*

  8. dmac says:

    Girl, I had the renters from heck too! I’m riding with GiGi on this one.

  9. cbean says:

    And yep, that is why I have not left my ball and chain. I have heard so many horror stories about being a landlord. Now, one of my church members who used to live in the front of our complex got a lawyer (we already sued the builders and they filed bankruptcy) to prove the house was over-appraised when she bought it, giving her the green light to sell below how much she owed and get out scot free.

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