Day 19: Regretfully

My life has been full of regret.  Full of it.  From my choices in men to those shoes that cut into the back of my heels, I am constantly regretting the choices I make. 

I regret that pint of ice cream I consumed in two sittings (in the same day).  I regret not going out of state for college.  I regret getting a divorce.  I regret buying that German car when I should have stuck with my trusty Japanese brand.  I regret the way I have spoken to my mother and I regret not speaking to my father at all.

Of all these regrets, there is one situation that stands out in my mind.  I think about it from time to time and it always makes me feel remorseful.  It’s amazing how a scene that didn’t even last 60 seconds could impact me more than a decade later.  I’ve never actually shared this with anyone, so I am hoping this exercise will provide a cleansing of my conscience in some sort of way.

Years ago, perhaps 10 or more, I was leaving Wa.l.mart back in Collegetown.  As I exited the building, a girl my age approached me and asked if I would like to have my car washed and enjoy a cool beverage while I waited.  She said both the car wash and the drink were free. 

“Free?” I asked cynically.  “Why is it free?”

She smiled and said, “we just want to do something nice.”

She reached into the cooler and handed me a no-name root beer.

“Oh, it’s CHEAP root beer!” I laughed and walked away.

As I got in my car and drove off, declining the free car wash and the budget beverage, I saw a sign that identified the group as belonging to a local church.  This was long before I was acquainted with Jesus and so I did not understand Christian kindness and the benevolent act of serving people and expecting nothing in return.

Still, my heathen mentality was no excuse for rudeness and I have thought about that moment pretty regularly every since.  Who did I think I was?  This young lady was offering me a cold drink on a hot day and I was making fun of her because it wasn’t B.a.r.qs or AandW?

To this day I am embarrassed at my behavior.  If I could, I would apologize to her and her group.  I was young, immature and clearly on a different level back then.

Thankfully, I have come to know Jesus since that time and have found myself ministering to the public in various capacities.  How would I have felt if the day I was passing out lunches to homeless people under bridges someone scoffed at me for giving them bologna instead of turkey?

There are still situations where I come across as kind of snooty, and that’s because I kinda am.  But I know, yes I KNOW, that I am no better than anyone else.  And you can bet your bottom dollar that a situation like the one above will never happen again. 

Do you have any regrets?

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12 Responses to Day 19: Regretfully

  1. Krissy says:

    I have 2.

    The person I lost my virginity to. I wish I would have experinced that with someone better. Somene worth it.

    And my choice in sperm donor, which wasn’t a regret until afterward. Seeing how he and I talked about having kids and marriage. But he’s an excellent actor. . . That’s all I’ll say about that.

  2. cbean says:

    @Babs. As you said you were young. Those that know better, do better. I can tell from your writing that you have matured.

    @Krissy. You caught me off guard, but I would have to agree with you regarding my virginity. I recently completed a study of Covenant with our women’s ministry and to get the biblical significance of what being a virgin on your wedding night represented, totally blew my mind. I regret too, that I will NEVER be able to have that experience with the man God has selected for me.

  3. t. sheree says:

    I regret the virginity thing as well. And now that I’ve been celibate for so long, I know that I could’ve done without it…and him, lol. Oh well…I truly didn’t understand what it meant to rely on His strength and not my own.

    I regret the decisions I made my regarding my undergraduate majors. I should’ve either transferred to the B-school when I would’ve had no problem, or stayed an English major and grad with much higher grades, instead of listening to faulty counsel and choosing a major for which I had no passion.

  4. 1969 says:

    Babs…that was a great story and it sounds like the lesson helped to shape you.

    I have many regrets. Many. Mostly, I regret times when I let my anger or selfishness get in the way of progress, healing or friendship.

  5. CaliSlim says:

    Awww Babs. I hope you do feel better now. Take comfort in the fact that if they were truly Christian they prayed for you and then forgave you. Now forgive yourself.

    As for me, no regrets. There are times I think “I should have said/done it this way!” But I just learn and move on. The past is the past. No need to dwell on things I can’t change.

  6. keyalus says:

    When I was 16, I accused one of my best friends of stealing from me. We had been friends since 2nd grade and our friendship was destroyed over $10. Maybe she took it, maybe she didn’t. Either way, I always felt bad about the way I handled the situation.

  7. ames says:

    If I had been the church chick (and I have been) I would have laughed and told the others the story. No offense would be taken.
    That’s kinda funny.

    I regret every time I ignore my initial instincts.

  8. SimplyB says:

    I regret not being more social growing up. I am finding it extremly hard to find friends.

    I regret my ENTIRE second year of undergrad. It was really bad.

    I may be regretting something else very soon but I’m still waiting for the outcome of a situation.

  9. Like you I’ve regretted some choices I’ve made in men. I regret my choice of words in certain situations. I wish I would have been more mature in how I handled myself.

  10. Rehab says:

    I regret being something of a mean girl in my adolescence.

    I regret some of the choices I made in college.

    I regret trusting the wrong person with my life.

  11. Barrister says:

    I’m glad that you shared that, Babs. You have obviously learned the lesson. The experience has served its purpose in shaping your character long ago. Let.it.go.

    As for me, I regret the words I have spoken that have hurt the people that I love, even if they really deserved it at the time. I also regret letting my college boyfriend deprive me of so many experiences. I was either always with him or wondering where he was. I should have been enjoying those university days more and making more lasting connections. So stupid!

  12. Honest says:

    Yes we all have regrets. I too have regrets about what I’ve said to people and most importantly I regret not thinking through some of my choices in undergrad.

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