I appreciate all of the kinds words, prayers and emails over the last few days. I spent most of yesterday in a funk but by the time night fell I was feeling a little better. A lot of you mentioned that you think I might be suffering from Post Partum Depression. I haven’t done enough research on the subject, but I really don’t think this is what this is.
Let’s think about this for a moment. I’m not receiving any financial or emotional support from Foxy’s dad, who shall henceforth be known as TBL. I have no family down here and have been abandoned by TBL’s family That’s a lot to deal with. So when something as minor as wasting 15 ounces of breastmilk pushes me over the edge it’s no wonder.
I had some reassuring conversations yesterday that truly put me in a better place mentally. Trust that I am still super pissed, but I’m not feeling so sad today.
As many of you know, I am no stranger to seeking professional mental health. I have a therapist whom I love and I have been thinking about seeing her for the past month or so. I just need find the time to do it. Just like working out, it’s super challenging to get accomplished on a Monday to Friday timeframe.
This morning my sweetie and I got up early for a doctor’s appointment and then we ran some errands. As we pulled back to the house I thanked her and the Lord for such a sweet child who did not fuss one bit the entire morning. I was able to get everything I needed done without so much as a peep from her. She just sat and smiled and looked at her hands.
I love her so much and, despite all of the bullshit I am dealing with, she is totally worth it.