I’m totally considering a stint in lesbianism. No, I’m not suddenly having a hankering for some ill-nana. I just really need a wife!
My life feels like it is out of control and in disarray. My home, my car, my bikini line all need tending to. At the end of the day, after Foxy has been put to bed, the last thing I want to do is fold and put away clothes or prepare a healthy meal.
I think a helpmate would be a great thing. Someone to help pick up around the house, do laundry, have a hot meal waiting on me when I come home from work. Someone to rub my feet or get cuddly while watching Teen Mom and the Housewives.
A wife would want to watch the same things as me on television so I wouldn’t be subjected to hours of sports. A wife would be eager to go to festivals and walks in the park on weekends. A wife would do all the grocery shopping and make sure I had healthy choices in the fridge.
If I have to bring home the bacon, then I’d like someone to fry it up in the pan.
Oh, and if I can find a wife that can breastfeed Foxy half the time, that would be GREAT!