I once dated a guy that didn’t know the difference between scallops and scalloped potatoes.
Let that sink in for a minute and I’ll start again.
I once dated a guy that didn’t know the difference between scallops and scalloped potatoes. When I had to explain the difference to him while sitting in an upscale restaurant I was shocked. Then I excused myself to the ladies room where I silently cried into my dinner napkin. How in the hell had I ended up in a relationship with a dude that didn’t know the difference between a starchy vegetable and a mollusk? Oh let’s be honest, a guy like that probably couldn’t define the term mollusk.
After getting over the initial shock I told myself to get over myself. Maybe it was because he had never finished college. Maybe it was because he hadn’t been privy to world travel. Perhaps it was because he hadn’t experienced fine dining. Except they sell scallops at red lob.ster and joe’s cra.bshack. Hell, they even sell them at the gol.den corral. And yes, I checked.
So the question is how in the hell does an adult make it to their mid thirties and not know the difference between scallops and scalloped potatoes?
I have no fucking idea.
What I do know is that if I ever decide to date again I shall fully vet my date’s culinary knowledge. I’m not saying he has to know what an amuse bouche is, but dammit he better know you don’t put sour cream and chives on scallops!