Do Better

I once dated a guy that didn’t know the difference between scallops and scalloped potatoes.

Let that sink in for a minute and I’ll start again.

I once dated a guy that didn’t know the difference between scallops and scalloped potatoes. When I had to explain the difference to him while sitting in an upscale restaurant I was shocked. Then I excused myself to the ladies room where I silently cried into my dinner napkin. How in the hell had I ended up in a relationship with a dude that didn’t know the difference between a starchy vegetable and a mollusk? Oh let’s be honest, a guy like that probably couldn’t define the term mollusk.

After getting over the initial shock I told myself to get over myself. Maybe it was because he had never finished college. Maybe it was because he hadn’t been privy to world travel. Perhaps it was because he hadn’t experienced fine dining. Except they sell scallops at red lob.ster and joe’s cra.bshack. Hell, they even sell them at the gol.den corral. And yes, I checked.

So the question is how in the hell does an adult make it to their mid thirties and not know the difference between scallops and scalloped potatoes?

I have no fucking idea.

What I do know is that if I ever decide to date again I shall fully vet my date’s culinary knowledge. I’m not saying he has to know what an amuse bouche is, but dammit he better know you don’t put sour cream and chives on scallops!

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28 Responses to Do Better

  1. fornot says:

    LOL You said “amuse bouche.” I am all for… you know what, nevermind. LOL

  2. Ms. Smart says:

    iCan’t with you tonight. Please add capers to the list of foods it’s amazing people don’t know about by the age of 21.

  3. Honest says:

    Lawd have mercy! I don’t even know what to say. Scallops? They sell those at the regular grocery store.

  4. coco327 says:

    I don’t believe that. I am sorry but you need more people. Potatoes/mollusks? What the hell? o_O

  5. Shea says:

    His ignorance has nothing to do with a lack of travel or a college education. Frigging Betty Crocker makes scalloped potatoes. Most menus have a description of the items; he couldn’t use context clues?

    But to be fair, maybe neither of those things are his forte. It’s hard to believe that about potatoes, but whatever. Maybe he knows what drugs ruin your teeth

    @Ms. Smart: I never had capers until I went to Rio de Janeiro. Little salty bastards were in every dish I had. My face was so puffy, ruined my damn pictures.

  6. CaliSlim says:

    Hmm…thinking about that guy and the other winners of 2009, I think you’ll need a girlfriend’s committe approval as well. I volunteer. But I’m tough! LOL

    Nah, I’m totally out of the game after that fiasco!

  7. Ames says:

    I understand your pain I lost total respect and interest in a fella after he gagged on a piece of real sushi. Simple **%^*<#! I am still disgusted with
    myself for wasting any of my time with that wuss.

  8. Be Real says:

    I am not trying to be ugly, in fact I’ve followed your posts throughout your pregnancy and am rooting for you and Foxy.
    But from a single mom to a single mom? We should worry less about a man’s palate and more about his ability to lend a helping hand when it is truly needed. The person donatedsperm to me graduated from different colleges yet he was not willing to be a father. Education does not make a man. Dude who didn’t know seafood from tubers may have had a heart of gold. Men with credentials and fine tastes are usually looking for 21 year olds with hard bodies and soft faces. We should stop looking for men who put on good fronts and instead seek out men who will stand by their word instead of just running game.
    What is more important: a man who knows the proper fork to use and the right kind of wine to order with fish or a man that tells you, “the daycare bill is already paid this week” and runs out to buy Feverall and Pedialyte at 3am when it is needed? Think about it.

    Please don’t assume that I am no longer with him simply because he doesn’t know what scallops are. Unfortunately, in this situation, not only was he a dumb ass but he also doesn’t stand by his word. He is a loser all around.

  9. CaliSlim says:

    What is more important: a man who knows the proper fork to use and the right kind of wine to order with fish or a man that tells you, “the daycare bill is already paid this week” and runs out to buy Feverall and Pedialyte at 3am when it is needed? Think about it.

    Why do women always have to sell themselves short in seeking a mate? You DO know there are guys out there who are capable of both. You don’t have to settle for one over the other.

    Just my opinion.

    • jamie says:

      “You DO know there are guys out there who are capable of both”.

      TRUE- you can have you cake, errrr- scalloped potatos and eat them too:)

      “You don’t have to settle for one over the other”- Just my opinion TOO!

    • dmac says:

      How does Be Reals comment mean a woman should sell herself short? Not trying to start anything, just really curious – because I would choose the peace of mind, paid bills, money in the bank and having lights on and the daycare paid over fish and potatos any day.

  10. Tsiporah says:

    Wow! That is pretty sad. Smh…

  11. jamie says:

    Babs, I’ve got a killer recipe for an amuse gueule of seared sea scallops en creme fraiche with caviar and chives that I used to serve to the animals that I cooked for in the last dungeon I worked in.

    I’ll trade you it for a good scalloped potato recipe if you’ve got one.

  12. busybodyk says:

    I can’t believe you cried over this. Maybe its a foodie thing….

    Or a hormonal thing. Or just the realization that I FAILED.

  13. CaliSlim says:

    @dmac – You said it yourself “you’d choose”… again it doesn’t have to be a choice! There are PLENTY of men who are capable of providing BOTH!

    • dmac says:

      Sure there are plenty of men who can provide both – but are they looking for me or are they looking for that “21 year old with the hard body and soft face?” At 35, chances are I would “choose” to rehab, renovate, and polish if the payoff was security, love, and companionship.

  14. Mike says:

    What Be Real said!

    *side eye*

  15. CaliSlim says:

    @dmac – Your response is why I think women sell themselves short. Of course such a guy should be checking for you, we’re talking about seafood, not nabbing the Prince of Monaco. And a person at age 35+ should be more worldly then a 21 year old anyway.

    Again just my opinion.

  16. Deljah says:

    Did he realize you’d been crying? It’s incredibly difficult for me to hide that. My nose turns bright red! Not to mention the teariness itself.

  17. Ames says:

    I agree with Calislim. If a woman can do two things at once, like make sure her kids go to bed full AND know simple differences in food items, why can’t a man.

    People have 0 expectations which may be why men think they should get points for basic civilized human behavior like taking care of their own children.

  18. pserendipity says:

    Some of y’all take yourselves way too seriously.

  19. SoJo says:

    I’m just gon’ go ahead and tell the truth or shame the devil. *I didn’t know what scallops were until I was an adult.

    Hell, I’m allergic to seafood so it was never served in my house growing up, nor was I ever curious about various types of seafood until I went to college. There things that I’m still finding out about in my 30s.

    But um…I have enough sense to discreetly Google it on my Blackberry if I’m around people I’ont know. *_*

    *if y’all mention this comment ANYWHERE outside our “family” I will hunt y’all down!!!! O_o

    Er uh, don’t ever tell that story again!

  20. Exhausted says:

    I initially laughed out loud at the idea of not knowing the difference between scalloped potatoes and scallops, that’s pretty funny. Maybe because I am divorced I understand why a date like that would have you near/in tears. The idea that you didn’t see something when you are already rusty in the dating game or just trying to date different guys can be a bit much. After my divorce I went out with a dude who asked ME out and then proceeded to ask me to PAY for ice cream (and that was all we did on the date). I even went out with him AGAIN after that (da hell!). I had been out the game for a long time and I was so scared that this might be all that’s out there. Whooo thank God for growth.

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