You are NOT the father!

“The Game” premiered last night. After a nearly two-year wait, everyone I know seemed to be waiting for it with heightened anticipation. Unfortunately, their was a collective sigh of disappointment after the show aired.

The main storyline, as expected, centered around Derwin and Melanie and his son. I won’t go into detail about the other storylines because they totally sucked.  Anyway, Melanie took it upon herself to give Derwin’s son a paternity test and, whatya know, it came back that he was not the father.

Emotions were high and drywall was ruined.  I totally felt sorry for Derwin.  Not really.  I actually kept wondering why his dumbass didn’t get a paternity test from jump.  He is a fine, rich and successful ball player.  Aren’t paternity tests de rigueur for his set?  It’s not like he’s one of these fat ass, broke losers running around Atlanta.

When I pregnant with Foxy, the subject of a paternity test came up only once.  I’ll admit I was totally offended, but I would have done it.  Not because I would have needed to prove anything, but because I understand that there are a lot of kids running around thinking their daddy is one person when it’s really another.

I know a man who secretly had his kid tested and discovered that he is not the father.  He hasn’t told the mother he knows because he loves the child so much.  Personally, I think that is a recipe for disaster.  Imagine the child has a medical emergency and needs something from his biological dad. Imagine this dude pisses off one of the people that knows his secret and word gets out.  It could get really ugly.

What do you think of paternity tests?  Do you think they are wise for unmarried people?

What do you think of secret paternity tests?  Does it even matter once the birth certificate has been signed?

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22 Responses to You are NOT the father!

  1. Donna says:

    I think unmarried men should request a paternity test. I would recommend this to any of my male relatives. If I were asked for a paternity test, I’d be incredibly offended but I’d do it. I’d just as well make the truth crystal clear for anyone who’s interested.

    I know far to many women sleeping with more than one man when they discover they are pregnant. Besides it not being fair to the man to not know if he’s really the kid’s father, it’s not fair to the child.

  2. sherri says:

    A request to take a paternity question would be the begining of the end for me, period.

  3. mzinspiredmind says:

    At the end of the show, it actually came back that Derwin is the father. The girl who did the test made a mistake.(I don’t even watch The Game) but “watched” thru my Twitter TL.

    I was asked during a heated argument to get a paternity test a month after my son was born. I was PISSED but said no prob. I knew that child was his father’s so even though I was insulted, I had no problem submitting to the test. His father eventually apologized and said he knew it was his son and didn’t want the testing done…*sigh* O_0

    I think a paternity test is wise for anyone(married or unmarried) who thinks and/or knows that there is any chance the father may not actually be the father.

    Secret paternity tests are ridiculous. It most definitely DOES matter after the bc is signed. What if there were some sort of medical emergency or something, and it came out then?? That’s starting a whole bunch of mess that could have been avoided.

  4. heartdrops says:

    I was a teeny bit disappointed in the first episode. I mean, a comeback after two years and that was it? And, it was discovered that the doc-friend made a mistake and Derwin IS the father. But why did Jenay have that look on her face when Derwin asked? She looked like she had just been caught in a lie!

    Yeah, I kinda think it won’t be his after all. You know that show is good for the back and forth storyline.

  5. Deljah says:

    I think paternity tests should be taken. IMO, it is part of the new reality of our society, where so many children are born to unmarried parents. The test is just another form of documentation that is needed in the absence of a preceding marriage certificate.

    I have seen so much real life drama around this issue; it’s just best to be tested.

  6. Ms. Smart says:

    “Imagine the child has a medical emergency and needs something from his biological dad.”

    This is exactly how one of my friends found out.

    As I reposted today, I’d take a test. Also, the first episode is a set-up for the rest of the season. I think people expected the characters to be the same people they were 2 years ago. That doesn’t happen in real life so why would it happen on the show? They brought back all the writers so I trust it will be a decent show. <—Yes, I just said something on BET might be decent. Shoot me now!

  7. Ames says:

    Asking if it’s wise for unmarried people to get a paternity test is like asking if it’s wise to get fire insurance after the house burns down.

    1) he does not trust her or consider her to have honor
    2) if I was the woman I’d surely hate him forever
    Now folks who do not trust, respect or like each other have a kid to raise. Or the momma has to go on Maury to do a daddy search.

  8. CaliSlim says:

    I don’t care how good our relationship is, if I am unwed and pregnant I’m all for the paternity test.

    These situations can turn ugly in a heartbeat. So I’d rather forever shut that door early. That way, everyone will know the truth, and I don’t ever have to worry about it being a question or thrown in my face later on down the line.

    • Cyn says:

      I agree. If I am unmarried I want it on record so that paternity could never be in question. I’d want any man I care about to the do the same. If it was asked of me before I could suggest it I’d be a bit hurt but the man has every right to and should get proof. I would rather shut down any questions up front then to have it come up later or for other folks to be speculating about it.

      As long as we handle it in a respectful manner I’d be ok.

  9. InnerDiva says:

    I’d be insulted, but I would take the test…just to able to say, “I told you so.” My cousin’s child’s father took her to court for one, and it actually helped her get her child support.

    I would recommend that men who aren’t in committed relationships have the test taken.

  10. I am team CaliSlim all day long and twice on Sundays. I’d be insulted too but I’d get it done.

  11. Krissy says:

    I think paternity test wouldn’t be nessisary if people weren’t so use to fucking around. But since they are, the test need to be taken. I’d hate to be a man and have to raise another mans child unknowingly. That’s just all types of wrong. 2 of my cousins went through that and neither of them wanted to find out after awhile. They loved the kids too much. My bffs cousin has raised a son for 18 yrs who he’s had doubts about the entire time and rightfully so. Even the son now questions his paternity. Its just not right.

    Jasmines paternity was never questioned. There was no reason for it to be. Sperm donor and I were together long enough for him to have no doubt.

    I think unmarried people who are not dating exclusively may need to have those test done. Hell sometimes married people need to have them done too. Signed birth certificate or not.

  12. Krissy says:

    Oh and I don’t know if I’m gonna even tune in for any more of “The game” BET should have never got their hands on that show

  13. CC says:

    Some men are dunces and think about things after the fact. When an unmarried man and woman are having a sexual relationship, men don’t think about the other men that are possibly hittin’ that as well. After the woman turns up pregnant, then he’s concerned about it and asks for a paternity test. If a man asks a woman who is not his wife for a test, she shouldn’t be offended. Marriage is the only relationship where exclusivity is pledged before God. There is sooo much drama that can be avoided if people wait until marriage.

    There is a reason why God reserved sex for people who are married…to each other!! Married people who cheat are scum. If you wanna hoe around, why stay married!?!?! HIV and herpes are forever!!! It’s amazing how people don’t get that concept.

  14. discodiva73 says:

    I hated this epi of The Game…just thought it was WAY too much on a lot of levels. I even thought the friend “mistake” could have waited til epi 3/4….did it need to be in the last 2 min of an already over the top show?

    Anyway, I would totally, wholeheartedly take a test. You should know 100% that you responsible for another individual for the rest of that individuals life (because we all know the responsibility doesn’t end at 18). I would be insulted, but the issue would be resolved/over and that is more important than my “feelings”.

  15. busybodyk says:

    Unmarried men – demand the test.
    Unmarried women – take the test.

  16. onefromphilly says:

    I have 3 boys and if one of them came home and told me that they were having a baby with a woman that they were not married to, I would expect the next sentence to be “yes I will be getting a paternity test”. If they didn’t I would quietly lose my mind and when that baby was born, take him or her myself for DNA testing. I am not afraid of my children!

    HOWEVER…if a man I was involved with asked me to take a paternity test…the relationship would probably end right there. I honestly would be that insulted. I’m a snotty bitch about just a few things, and insulting or questioning my character is at the top of the list!!!

    I’m totally two-faced on this subject, I know it and I’m cool with it!

  17. LOL ! It is funny how so many women would be offended if ASKED to take a test, but if it was their son, brother, cousin, etc. they would want to insure that test be taken to avoid the possibility of him getting played. The bottom line, is that we have all been witness to too much griminess out here whether dating, relationship or married. With this in mind, if I found myself unmarried and pregnant, even if I was in what I knew to be an exclusive relationship (on my part), I would offer AND take a test, to avoid having to be asked & offended. That way, he would would be SURE about what I already KNOW and any women in his inner circle could be shut down with any questions with the quickness !

  18. OnlineDiva says:

    I would be offended if I was asked to take a paternity test. Additionally, if my cousin, brother, guy-friend, etc. came to me asking my opinion….my advice wouldn’t necessarily be that he should get a paternity test to prevent himself from getting played but rather he should have been conducting himself in a way that prevent him from getting played from the beginning. Some men be trying to act brand new when a woman gets pregnant. Uh……don’t u know sex = increased chnaces of having a baby…then conduct yourself in a way that won’t lead to you getting played.

  19. For clarification, when I stated “getting played’, I meant being told you are the father of a child that is later determined to not be yours biologically (cause the women was dealing with other men unbeknown to you). Of course if you are having sex with or without protection there is always the chance it’s yours. That is not getting played, you took the risk by being there. Bottom line, nobody ever knows for sure that anyone is being monogamous. Irregardless of trust, commitment or marriage.

  20. KMN says:

    I think paternity tests are necessary. My child’s father actually had the nerve to ask me to go to Maury (please don’t judge my by my ghetto child’s father lol). I immediately let him know that I would go to the court house to get tested. Lo and behold it was his (I had only been telling him since I found out I was about four weeks pregnant).

    Men have the right to know, children have the right to know, and women SHOULD know before the test is even administered. It’s wrong to have a man take care of a child that he thinks is his and then to have him find out later on in life that s/he isn’t…that’s just wrong on many levels.


  21. missmajestic says:

    I am for paternity tests if there is an inkling of doubt. I would be offended if (how could any woman not be) if I were asked but I would do a test just for proof. But I think if a woman is asked she should do it, no questions asked. just to clear the air. but it is offensive to ask. It’s all about the truth and that’s the only way to prove it.

    It does matter even if the certificate is signed b/c the truth is the truth. even if the daddy/sperm donor gives up parental responsibility.

    I still don’t think it’s Derwin’s baby. I think Janay will get pissed and test the baby on her own and it won’t be Derwins after all. Or maybe I just want the perfect picture. Really Derwin and Melanie could have their own show at this point.

    There are two men in my life who are victims of paternity fraud. One tested the (teenage) child on his own and found out. The other, the mother flat out told him she knew it was his when the “child” was 26 years old.

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