I heard a song today that reminded me of my one and only Fre.aknik experience. Nevermind that the song was ‘Put em on the glass” by Sir Mix A Lot. Uh, no, I did not put “them” on the glass and, yes, my Fre.aknik experience was just as bad as the song. So why am I writing about it? Because mizinspiredmind asked me to and because any story that ends with college coeds in the slammer is worth telling.
Picture it, Columbus, 1993 or 4…
So my two girlfriends and I decided that we were heading to Atlanta for Fr.eaknik. I didn’t really know much about Fr.eaknik, just that it was where every black person in the world went each spring. One of my friends found us a place to stay for free (some chick she went to high school with) and I rented us a car. This is the part where I tell you that I didn’t actually rent the car. I was 19 and didn’t have a job or a credit card or car insurance, so my boyfriend rented a car and gave me the keys. Kids…that’s illegal, FYI.
So we were on the road to Atlanta and Senora Leadfoot (that would be me) got pulled over for speeding. No biggie. The cop was super friendly. He even made fun of me for going the wrong way, which would have saved me from getting a ticket. He gave me my ticket and we were on our way.
The trip itself was pretty uneventful. Looking back, now that I live in Atlanta, I know we ended up at Piedmont Park and I remember driving on 85. I think we ended up at a mall, or maybe the Underground, where we met a prepubescent Usher who tried to talk to my friend. She turned him down and I am sure she is still pissed about that. I am pretty sure we stayed in a dreadful apartment in College Park, which may be the reason I have an aversion to SW Atlanta to this day. On the way home, I reacquainted myself with the swine after three years of pork-free living. Yeah, I thought that was the most exciting moment of the trip.
Fast forward 6 hours or so. We had just crossed the Ohio River and were a couple of hours from home. I was sleeping in the passenger seat, one friend was in the the backseat studying and the other friend was driving. All of the sudden, the car starts to slow down. We were being pulled over and the driver was mumbling something like, “oh no oh no oh no.” I shrugged it off thinking it must be her first speeding ticket. The cop took her license to run it and she was looking sick to her stomach. I asked her what was wrong and she didn’t speak.
Next thing I know, and nothing ever good follows the phrase “next thing I know”, a police cruiser pulled up in front of us and backed up to our front bumper. Then another cruiser pulled up to our left. Then another cruiser pulled up to our right. You guys, we were surrounded by police cruisers on the side of Interstate 71 like an episode of Miami Vice.
You know what comes next, right?
“TAKE THE KEYS OUT OF THE IGNITION AND PUT THE KEYS ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR!!!”
Dude was talking to us on the speaker! We had to keep our hands raised and slowly step out of the car like common criminals. I had no idea what was going on but I was scared.
They took the driver up front to one cruiser and they took me and the other girl to the back cruiser. We were sitting in the back and I asked the cop what was going on. He informed us that our friend, the driver, had an outstanding warrant. We asked him what for and he said he didn’t know but it was a felony. A felony! I was rolling with a felon and didn’t even know it.
Okay, so here is how the rest of the evening played out…
They took ole girl to JAIL. They took me and the other girl to a local Burger King and left us there. They towed the car because it was not in any of our names and the rental company told them to take it. The burger king they dropped us at just happened to be 30 minutes away from my family, so I called my cousin and had her come get us. My friend’s boyfriend drove two hours to get us and drove us back to school.
The felon? She spent two nights in jail and was later convicted and put on probation. Her crime? Some shady stealing of money and processing fake refunds from her employer, a top purveyor of bath gels and lotions. I think it’s safe to say her life is ruined. How do you bounce back from a felony at 20 years old?
My boyfriend had to pay crazy fees for the car situation and I vowed never to return to Atlanta again. I moved here 10 years later. *shrugs*
So that, my friends, is my Fre.aknik story. Not at all as exciting as I had hoped, but memorable nonetheless.