Food for Thought

I was talking to a coworker the other day about relationships.  She was telling me all about how she met her wonderful husband of nine years and I was telling her all about how I string garlic and crosses all around my house to keep the bloodsuckers away from me.

I jest.

In all honesty, it was quite nice to hear her enthusiasm for her husband.  She had nothing but good things to say about him- he’s kind, he’s funny, he’s a good father, etc.  I wish more women would have such an outlook on their marriages.  Do I wish I could have the same?  Not necessarily.

You see, there is a lot that I enjoy about being single.  I like the freedom of being able to come home and eat rotisserie chicken while standing in the kitchen and watching the news.  I like that everything in my bathroom is mine and it stays exactly where I left it.  I like watching whatever I want on television at any given moment.  I like not having to talk to people.

On the other hand, there are certainly things that I miss about being in a quality relationship.  I miss having someone to handle the trivialities of life.  That whole me going to buy a water heater mess?  Yeah, that’s not my place.  And even though I want to watch what I want, I miss having someone to snuggle with on the couch.  I miss having someone to cook for.  And occasionally, I miss having someone to talk to that doesn’t involve a qwerty keyboard.

I’m not looking to get into a relationship any time soon, and I think there would have to be a couple of miracles before I was even mentally fit to trust someone to not be a complete asshole.  Maybe someday.

Just some food for thought.

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11 Responses to Food for Thought

  1. krissy says:

    I can get with this post. I think being single is awesome but there also comes a point where one wants someone to share their time with. Its going to take you awhile before you’re ready for someone to be in your space on a regular basis. I don’t blame you one bit. But I do know when you’re ready it’ll be awesome.

  2. Kim says:

    I feel pretty similar.

  3. Mrs. AKAtude says:

    Chile! The Lord is still working on me. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is all that and a bag of chips, but OMG, I sometimes think back to my fabulous, single life I was living in ATL! Getting married at 36 I think had a lot to do with it too, I was so used to my own space, this cohabitating is a complete adjustment. I digress…..

  4. CaliSlim says:

    I certainly can understand why you feel the way you do.

    But it’s not just about you anymore. Kids should grow up seeing their parents in loving, productive relationships. So many broken people are coming from broken homes and so many don’t care to do anything to break this cycle (and no, I’m not saying broken people can’t come from two parent homes either).

    While I don’t think one should rush anything just to have a man (we see how that turns out), I do think one should try to get to a point where they are open to the possibilities of one. I think it saves so much trial and error and heartache when it comes time for your kid to enter the dating world and they have a clue of what a good relationship should look like.

    Just food for thought on my end.

  5. onefromphilly says:

    When you feel it, that what I tell myself. And it’s such a delicate balance to what “it” is. I have no real advice, I’m confused myself.

  6. Nerd Girl says:

    And that ma’am, is why I really, really don’t mind the fact that my husband is gone 5 days a week. I feel like I have the best of both worlds!

    I didn’t realize how much I missed that “freedom” until he switched careers. I like. I like it a lot. It will be hard to adjust to him being home all of the time whenever he decides to stop driving.

    • akima says:

      My fiance is considering taking a job where he’d spend ~75% of his time traveling. We’ll basically be starting our married life with him on the road. I also spend about 40-50% of my time traveling for work. What is we gon do?!

      I’m sorta worried that I’ll miss him SO much (I will) and worried that I’ll enjoy my time without him (I’ll probably do that too). Thanks to y’all, I’m about to start looking at it as the best of both worlds. 🙂

  7. Barrister says:

    I agree. My heart smiles when I hear married people speak enthusiastically about their spouse and children. More importantly, I love it when their “video” matches their “audio”- walking the talk.

  8. naturallyk says:

    Its nice that you said this. I’m very happily married and will be an AW about it if given the chance. I’m hesitant though because people seem to have so much negative to say and don’t want to hear the positive. Sometimes I have to stop myself from gushing about him around people that don’t know me that well because people can be such haters (I hate that term but it applies). I’m afraid people will say,”Here she goes again” followed by eyes rolling.

    All the things you want are trivial. You could always marry a man that loves cook for you and watch different shows on your iPads while cuddled on the couch. You determine your future and who you marry. You also decide, with the right person, what your marriage will be like.

    Recently someone told my husband that when they say they trust their wife, it means more than when they say “I love you.” Now sometimes we say “I trust you” instead of “I love you.”

    PS – We’re looking forward to watching the adventure when you’re ready to get back on the horse!

  9. ames says:

    It reads like you are content. Lots of people never find that place. I don’t think there is anything wrong with liking being single. Most people don’t die from lack of a spouse.

    Now I think all the stuff you enjoy about single life will soon end once your daughter gets a little older. My daughter watches Dora so much that now I turn to it, when the kids are gone. Freedom and children can not exist together, IMO.

  10. I hope your someday comes sooner than you think. You are a fabulous woman who deserves a fabulous man to spoil and love both you and the Fox.

    You know me, ever the optimist! 🙂

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