3 Truths and a Lie

Ladies, if you are considering having children or perhaps have a newborn at home, I want to talk to you for a moment.  You see, as your blog big sister, I feel it is my duty to hip you to a few things that were never shared with me during my nearly 37 years on this earth.

Before I had Regan, and even up until about six months ago, I really thought all I had to do was make it through the first year and then everything would get easier.  I thought once I was done making bottles, waking up in the middle of the night and (literally) carrying her everywhere she needed to go, life would suddenly just be a breeze.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Sure, life is a bit easier in those areas- we’re done with bottles, she sleeps through the night and she crawls everywhere she wants to be.  Everywhere! But it is a whole lot more difficult in some other areas.  Whoever told me, “it will get easier once she starts walking” was LYING!

Now let me hip you to some truths:

#1- Sure, I am finally able to sleep through the night, but I am up before 6am every single morning.  No matter what time she goes to bed, that chick is up by 6am daily.  I truly don’t even need to set my alarm, I just wait to hear her stirring and I know it’s time to get up.  Add to that the fact that I don’t go to bed when she does and I am pretty much running on empty most days.  You see, after she goes to bed I still have to clean up, get clothes ready, eat dinner and just chill before going to bed.  Some days that’s 930, other days it’s 1130.

If you cherish your sleep, you might want to rethink procreation.

#2- I do a ridiculous amount of laundry.  She has a lot of clothes.  A lot.  And it would seem that I do as well.  Since we typically don’t wear things twice, we have piles of dirty laundry every few days.   I finally decided that it was okay if she wears her jammies two days in a row, even though it totally skeeves me out, but I don’t think that is really helping to decrease the amount of dirty clothes.  I used to like doing laundry but now that I do it every three days, I’m starting to loathe it.

Every day after dinner I have to clean up the dining room, load the dishwasher, and straighten the kitchen.  I repeat this every single day because, get this, she wants to eat every single day.  The nerve!

I truly feel like all I do is clean my kitchen.  I’m constantly spot cleaning the floors.  Trash goes out every other day.  And to be honest, I never feel like my kitchen is truly clean.  It’s always just ready for the next meal.  I’m always unloading the dishwasher only to load it again in the same moment.  It’s exhausting.  If your housekeeping skills are iffy to begin with, they are going to be downright nasty once you have kids.

#3- Regan has been blessed with some really great toys.  And they sing.  All of them.  In a high pitched voice.  Singing.  Happy.  And.Singing.

Wait, this isn’t about the singing (of which there is a lot) this is about the toys scattered ALL OVER MY HOUSE.  I seriously straighten up the living room and her bedroom every day.  She thinks it’s a game to pull every single toy out.  Oh, but once she has pulled every toy out you know what she likes to do?  If you said play with her toys you would be wrong.  She likes to splash in the toilet or eat my earphones or turn the tv on and off.  and on. and off.

So while she is playing with everything but her toys I am putting them away.  And once they are all neatly put away she suddenly gains an interest in playing with them again.

*sigh*

I hope these tips will better prepare you for motherhood.  Yes the first year is tough, but the subsequent years are tough too.

I’m sure I can think of more unspoken challenges of motherhood, but I really need to go load the dishwasher and put the towels in the dryer.

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37 Responses to 3 Truths and a Lie

  1. onefromphilly says:

    It’s the hardest job I have ever had!

    It’s also the best job I ever had!

  2. keyalus says:

    #1 – Yeah not easy. Lewis is usually up by 7:30AM no matter what. Lucky for me I’m used to getting up at 5AM so if I get to sleep until 7:30AM that’s great. The only thing that is easier about them walking is that you don’t have to hold anyone all the time. Walking means they can get into all kinds of stuff and you have to worry about them falling and bumping into things. Then there is the added problem of them not staying put anymore!

    #2 – I don’t do that much cleaning. I won’t. Weekends are for cleaning, weekdays are for basic maintenance. My rest is more important.

    #3 – The loud toys! Arg! And that TV on/off thing? SMH.

  3. sherri says:

    I’m really sorry. I thought I hipped you to the lies that people tell you. Oh wait, maybe I meant to, but forgot. Because your memory leaves with your placenta. Mine has not returned.

    People lie to folks because to say otherwise sounds ungrateful, bitter and plain old nasty. Who wants to be known as a whiny, bitchy parent. People lie to pregnant people because basically, it’s too late to tell the truth. No one wants to be the bearer of bad news to the pregnant person. So we act like it is just a phase and it will pass. The phase does pass, but it is replaced with some new phase that tends to be more stressfull that the last. Can’t wait until they can sit up on their own? Sure, but that is replaced by crawling which means your child can do all sorts of damage to themselves and your house. Can’t wait until they can talk so that they can tell you what they want? Yeah, right. Once they start talking, they never stop. You will want to change your name because they say mommy or NO every 9 seconds. Just wait until they can put full sentences together. They tell you want they want to eat, listen to in the car, wear to school, buy at the store. Wait until your child corrects your behavior in public. Or your grammar. Want them to walk so that you can loose the extra 25 pounds you carry everywhere? Yeah, they not only walk but they run. They run into walls, they run into furniture, they run across parking lots – now you have to run after them.

    I find people only tell the truth to people going through the same phase. That’s why there are mommy groups, because you can feel free to bitch and moan with impunity(sp) about all the lies people told you. That’s where you find out that you are not crazy and that you are not alone.

    One more truth: Give up on the clean kitchen. No matter how clean you get it, your toddler will always find some leftover food to eat off the floor.

  4. Petite Pearl says:

    I think it’s only women that lie to each other about this kind of stuff. Men are usually the one’s being honest with each other on all the woe’s of parenthood. They just have a different way of summing it up of course. I can definitely see how things will not get easier as my soon gets older. He’s in the crawling and pulling up stage now and I’m always nervous that he will hurt himself. I’ve lowered my standards for cleanliness around the house. I allow more clutter and I don’t pick up the toys but a couple of times a week. I stepped on Sophie the giraffe three time yesterday. Oh, well. For me, being a parent is about survival. Enjoy as much of it as possible and survive the rest and live to tell about it. 🙂

  5. K says:

    Yes. Yes. And yes.

    (I hear ya on the jammies. Ezra and Iris will wear their jammies twice, at the maximum, despite being clean once in them. It’s A Thing.)

  6. naturallyk says:

    And folks keep asking me and my husband why we’re waiting….
    PS – What did you and Regan do for your dad for Father’s Day?

  7. Kena says:

    And to think your thruths are the easy part in comparison to when they get older. As a mother of a 16 yo, I always thought it was so much easier when he was younger. I remember first thinking this when he was in elementary…it was much easier for me to make sure he was occupied, safe, clean, fed, etc. The hard part for me was making sure he evolved into a good person and that he felt good about himself and knew he was capable of all things.

  8. Lori F says:

    PREACH!!!! ITA with Sherri – veterans don’t tell the truth to newbies because it’s too late anyway – why put the damper on an already hormonal filled existence as a pregnant woman? Every phase has it’s challenges, and just as you start to feel comfortable and confident at dealing with them, they fade out and a new phase replaces it. It will continue to be this way for the next 18 years. I don’t know yet, but I’m told that even when they’re grown, parents still have worries. So the only constant we get as parents is concern and hopefully in the end, love and forgiveness for whatever we screwed up along the way. It’s all improv after all!

  9. amyg says:

    And do you know what else remains mum?!?!? The shit they say once they can talk!!!! Mia likes to point out all kinds of things about people in stores and both of my kids like to tell me I have a big butt. Never.gets.easier. 🙂 🙂

  10. MrsTDJ says:

    Yup @ Sherri and Lori. This ish is hard. Straight up. Rewarding as h*ll and their little smiles make the journey worth it, but it doesn’t negate the facts – This is is hard!

  11. Sha Boogie says:

    LOL! Nothing prepares you for the endless amounts of laundry and cleaning *sigh* how do people with more than one child manage! I shudder to think how I’ll EVER sleep if I have another child..

  12. AR Gal says:

    Looking at all the blog land kids makes it very tempting because they so cute but each time I contemplate whether or not I want to have a child I think about the things you’ve mentioned. Days like today, when I’m absolutely exhausted from work, don’t help because all I can think is there is no way I could muster up the energy to try and parent a kid. Needless to say I’m not ready and my love affair with birth control will continue on.

  13. InnerDiva says:

    Oy. And hubby’s talking about wanting another one. I already know my son is going to have a terrible sense of humor, much like his father and I…making fun of folks left and right.

  14. t. sheree says:

    Thank you, so very very much. Thank you. I keep wondering why I want a husband and kids…I need these reality checks to calm my a** down.

  15. Lindsey says:

    Oh those singing toys drive me crazy!

  16. Marie Noelle says:

    Help!!! 😛

    Thank you for your honesty! But it’s kinda scary for me… I’m a mommy to be ;P

  17. Laurie says:

    Great post. I never feel like my kitchen is really “clean” either…I swear I’m always in it and wiping up spills and crumbs!!!!

  18. Camille says:

    Your honesty is so, so appreciated. And even though that all sounds TERRIFYING (because it does…I love my sleep, let’s face it) it sounds like at some point, it might be fun. 🙂 Great, great post.

  19. OMG make the happy singing STOP! P-p-p-lease? #commenthour

  20. nylse says:

    i just want to encourage you and tell you – this too shall pass! every stage is different yet challenging in its own way. just when you’re free from diapers and wipes your child decides that they’re smarter than you. it’s always something.
    the toys – you’ll eventually get a handle on because you’ll hide them or just wont buy them anymore.
    laundry – it never ends…
    sleeping – get your sleep you need it.

    BTW – veterans may not tell the truth to new mothers because they dont want to ruin it for them. and as a new mother somehow you think your experience will be different, at least thats what i thought with my 1st.

    You will be fine! I know it.

  21. Martini Mom says:

    I hid all my son’s singing toys, or at least took out the batteries. I have a 10-year-old and a 10-month-old. It *does* get easier eventually – my oldest is really pretty easy at this point… after about 5, I’d say. My oldest was 9 when my youngest was born, and the reentry into baby was NOT easy. Oh, I would kill for a full night’s sleep! Worth it though, totally. 🙂

  22. Awww the joys of having a toddler. My son is 6 and it does get a little easier. Just a little. lol

    OMG at the singing toys. After having my son, I stopped gifting kids with “noise makers”.

  23. Amen! As we leave each stage behind and enter the new one, I keep finding myself thinking, “I thought this was supposed to be getting easier..” But with the disappearance of one challenge comes a new one.

    I’m resigning myself to the fact that this whole mom thing will never get easier, just different.

  24. I love seeing this kind of honesty about parenthood, because I think it’s important that we hear what it’s really like from people who are going through these kind of things… and to not idealize what they think parenthood is all about. Speaking of which… I’m looking at the endless piles of singing toys all over my house as I type… sigh.

    visiting from #commenthour

  25. Multiply that times three and you have my life. Wait, add in two dogs and three cats to pick up after. They are kids too, toys everywhere and diapers are actually cat litter pans and pooper scooping the backyard because my husband “doesn’t know how” and between the furkids and the human kids no one eats the same thing, no one can share and OMG don’t even bring up napping at the same time. *sigh* I feel ya girl, I really do.

  26. Sarah says:

    As the parent of a toddler, I can really relate with you. There is a lot that other moms do not share about motherhood…until it’s too late 🙂 Luckily the things they do share about the unconditional love are also true!

  27. nineteen69 says:

    This whole chain is hilarious. Wait till you have more than one. And I don’t care what anyone says….two boys is NO JOKE. If you think one baby girl is a whirlwind, I should send the Tali’s to your house. There’s a reason they are the Taliban…..seek and destroy.

  28. nineteen69 says:

    P.S. Stick to Leap frog toys which have a volume setting. High or Low (Low is your friend!). If it gets bad…take all of the batteries out. LOL

  29. Mine’s 3 1/2 and I still don’t get to sleep past 7:00 on the weekends…

  30. Stopping by from comment hour! Motherhood is the most challenging-rewarding job ever…It’s definitely harder than medical school lol

  31. heartdrops says:

    I bought my friend’s baby some talking Elmo toy. She sent me a text one day to let me know she was going to drown it in the toilet.

  32. jamie says:

    mine are 19 and 23 and I’m still losing sleep over them. It never ends.
    An “e” ticket ride all the way!

  33. Dark&Lovely says:

    Thanks for this post! And here I was thinking I can’t wait for my 8 week old to be walking and talking. And before this week we were planning on when we’ll start trying for baby #2…I’m not so sure that’s gonna happen. I love my baby and motherhood is awesome, but it is work for sure!

  34. SoniaB says:

    One phase turns into another. It’s worth it but damn

  35. ondrea says:

    Aw, who lied to you? You should have asked me. It never gets easy, just diffferent. My daughter is 16 and she is going into her senior year of high school. I cannot wait to send her off to college and hopefully she will make it before I choke her out! Of course, you have a lot of good moments but like SoniaB said..it’s worth it but damn.

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