There are several security guards that work at baby’s school. Although I don’t know any of their names, I always speak to them as I am coming and going. Good morning, have a nice day and all of that. I speak to them, and they speak to me. It’s what normal, socialized people do. Except for one.
There is this one security guard that I cannot stand. For months I would come in every morning and greet him. He would grumble something that sounded like “morning” or not say anything at all but just give me a half smile and head nod. As I would leave, I would say “have a nice day!” and each and every time he would respond, “mm hmm.” No thank you or same to you or you do the same. Not even a getthehelloutofherewithallofyourhellosandgoodbyes.
Just “mm hmm.”
So I decided I was no longer going to tell him to have a nice day. I began walking right past him without so much as a glance. I pretended he wasn’t there. The other security guards would get a friendly goodbye. He got nothing. This went on for the last couple of months.
Today, I was in a particularly good mood and clearly got caught up in my own happiness. As I was walking out I decided to extend my friendly vibes his way. Really, I shouldn’t have wasted them on him because as soon as I said, “have a nice day!” he came back with “mm hmm.”
Jerk! I am done. Not only am I never telling him to have a nice day again, but I am no longer even going to greet him. I don’t care if he has a nice day. In fact I hope he has a crappy day. I hope all of his days are crappy. I hope his chair breaks and he has to stand. I hope the automatic lock on the door breaks and he has to get up to let every single parent in. I hope his car breaks and he has to take the bus to work. I hope the microwave breaks and he has to eat cold, sodium-laden ravioli out of a can. And then I hope he cuts his hand on the jagged edges of the can.
Have a crappy day, Mr. Security Guard. Have a crappy day!