All is Well

Last week I was faced with something I have been fearing for most of my adult life, an ailing parent.  I always worried about what I would do in the event of a medical emergency given the distance between me and my mom, and unfortunately I had to find out much sooner than I expected.  When I got the call, I wasn’t at all prepared.  I actually had to hang up and get my thoughts together.  I consulted with the first person I saw, which happened to be a top dog at my company, and then I was moved to action.

Regan and I were on the first thing smokin’ and I was by my mother’s side before she even expected to see me.  I am actually quite proud of myself for how I handled the whole situation.  I never once cried or freaked out.  I just made the necessary calls, packed bags and bounced. 

My mother is fine.  Everything is okay and now we can both laugh about the entire situation, but boy let me tell you, this whole situation has really made me look at the future differently.  It’s easy to keep track of my age and my health as the years pass, but I also need to think about the health and well-being of my parents (particularly my mother).  I didn’t think I would have to think about these type of things for another ten or twenty years, but boom! there I was last week dealing with it.

I can’t imagine life without my mother.  She is my biggest supporter, my loudest cheerleader, my favorite travel companion and my best friend.  And Regan?  Well she is 100 percent absolutely smitten with her Mimi.  Neither of us can do without her.

Have you had to deal with aging parents?  Were you prepared or did it catch you off guard?

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28 Responses to All is Well

  1. jamie says:

    lengthy terrible terminal illness for my dad and horrible rapid terminal illness for mom. i thought i was prepared, but in the end i really wasn’t

  2. onefromphilly says:

    In 2003 my Mom had a long hospital stay. It was a bad winter, it was February and snowing all the time. I could barely get to Philly because of the weather. Thank God that my Dad held it down. But I worried about him and icy streets and long days sitting in the hospital. Right then I knew that I have to eventually move back to Philly. Now that I’m an only child I’ve started really putting my exit plan into effect. My parents are in good health but they are 82 and 77, I feel the need to be back in Philly by sometime in late 2012.

  3. coco327 says:

    My parents aren’t all that old but my mom has had some of the most crazy health issues (collapsed lung and 13 pound tumor in her stomach, 12 years apart) so whenever she gets sick I make her go to the doctor immediately. The other week she was having chest pains on the left side and she said she would wait until the next day to go to the doctor. I was like oh hell no you are going to the emergency room immediately. She was ok but I felt better hearing it from the doctor. I definitely need her healthy for any future grandbabies.

  4. amista says:

    Good to hear your mother is fine. I know how scary it can be, and the distance certainly does not help. A friend and I were recently talking about how we’re often finding that we have to parent our parents. I joked that our mothers are in the rebellious teenage phase – not returning calls, etc. My father, who I wasn’t very close to, kept how serious his cancer was from us until near the end. As much as I don’t like to think about it, I could see my mother doing the same thing.

  5. Me and SC have this debate often. He’s and only child and I’m not. But one benefit to having siblings is that you don’t have to go thru the ailing parent situation alone. My parents are set up nicely now, one sister lives in the same city and they are surrounded by extended friends and family. My sisters and I have also already established who will take care of them when they can’t care for themselves (and it’s not me 😆 )

    So glad your Mom is okay. That is indeed a scary situatio

  6. BK says:

    my mom had an accident during my jr year of college. my siblings felt it was best to NOT tell me about it.. when I found out about it.. I was on the first bus back home.. set up shop in the hospital and a week after I was there she awoke from her coma.. Once I knew she was going to be ok.. I contacted my school and withdrew.. found a job back home and took care of my mom. When she retired I moved her closer to me so that I could keep an eye on her… I wasn’t going to ever let that happen again

  7. CreolePeach says:

    I’m glad your mom is ok. I got a scary call like that concerning my father a few weeks ago. Thank goodness my sister lives in the same city with my parents so I could get more info to let me know if I had to hit the road. They’re just in their early 60s, but my dad has some issues. I couldn’t imagine not being a (relatively) quick car ride away. I know that had to be scary for you.

  8. AR Gal says:

    Glad your mom is okay.

  9. K says:

    I’m sorry for the sneak attack worry, and glad everything is better now.

  10. naturallyk says:

    This is my biggest fear! I’m glad your mom is okay and I’m proud of you for handling it so well!

  11. Petite Pearl says:

    I’m glad your mom is ok. My mom being sick would be about like something being wrong with me!! I often wonder how I would handle the situation. My parents aren’t that far away thankfully.

  12. Clu says:

    I am glad to hear everything worked out well and your Mom is ok! I was so confused when I saw stuff on Twitter about things in my area.

    For a while my Mom, Step-Dada and Nana were damn near tag teaming each other in and out of the hospital. Luckily I am only a 20 minute drive away (like over an hour on public transportation (barf!)) so I was able to get there quickly. Everyone is fine right now *knocks on wood*

  13. ondrea says:

    My parents aren’t that old (they had me at a very young age) but there are still medical issues to deal with. My dad has major kidney problems and is on dialysis. There have been so many close calls that I have become numb to them. I am glad to hear that your Mom is okay.

  14. krissy says:

    I’m glad to read your mom is doing well. I hate to even think about anything ever happening to my mom. She’s my bestfriend.

  15. akima says:

    I’m glad that your mom is doing better. That is scary…

    My dad has a myriad of health issues and my mom is the person that random, rare stuff happens to. I live so far away that I can’t do much but call and check on them regularly. I also let everyone know that the best thing they can do for me is let me know — as soon as possible. I have a bunch of sisters so that helps me not worry as much. I trust that they’ll take care of them if anything happens.

  16. Honest says:

    So glad everything is ok with your mom. My mom is only 4 hours away which is great. My dad is about 4 1/2 hours away which is great. I imagine that once my mom is older she’ll come live with me or near me.

  17. OnlineDiva says:

    Glad to hear your mom is doing well. I often think about this issues. My mom isnt that old…but I would like to start preparing financially now.

  18. So glad you mom is doing better. I know this is a load off of your mind. I can understand the situation because I don’t live near my parents either & they are advancing in age, and the health problems have begun. My father is the one dealing with health issues currently and it has been challenging for all of us. I hate that panicky feeling when you need to move quickly & are trying to figure out what to do. I hate having to try to determine if I need to come home or not. Sometimes it’s not as serious of a situation, but when it’s obvious the decision makes itself. I am glad that my sister lives closer in case of emergencies but I am still responsible for my parents needs too & need to be there when it counts.

  19. Roses Daughter says:

    When my father had his stroke, I was totally unprepared. Even though he is 66. Luckily I only live 3 hours away by car, but that one incident scared me. But even so, I’m still not prepared.

  20. JIXXA says:

    I can say this as an only child with two aging parents(both mid 70’s) its really really rough. My dad had a massive stroke over 18 years ago and since that day, my mom and I have been his primary caregivers. So you can believe, me taking care of both of them is a full time job and this is on top of my busy schedule. But you know what I wont have it any other way because they are the only parents I have. Where we prepared? Nope. Am I prepared for things that might come in the future? Nope.

  21. laughing808 says:

    glad to hear all is well with your mother……….I pray that you wont be faced with another dilemma for some years.

    no amount of preparation would help if something were to happen to my mother. Thankfully and gratefully I haven’t moved and both my biological parents and my step father are within 30 mins driving.

  22. Disco Diva says:

    Aging parents is always hard to take. My mother (an only child) specifically wanted a lot of kids so we wouldn’t have to deal with it on our own. Luckily, I have a sister who is staying with my parents, a brother who lives about 15 min away and another sister who lives about 1.5 hours away. Knowing they are close makes me feel better.

    Am glad your mother is ok…let me know if you need anything from me.

  23. t. sheree says:

    Glad your mommy is fine. 🙂

  24. nineteen69 says:

    Glad that you mom is doing better.

  25. Bunny says:

    Babs, sooo glad your mom is doing fine and that y’all can laugh about it now. My mom is about to be 74 but she gets around really well and I hope it stays that way for a long, long time.

  26. Nerd Girl says:

    I’m glad your mother is better! My parents take really great care of themselves and I hope that will ward off any serious diseases/illnesses for a very long time. I am very aware of the fact that they’re aging and really hate that my brothers and I are all quite a distance away from them.

    This is one of the few reasons I hate that Lovegirl is an only. I really don’t want to put all of the burden of our care on her. Sigh.

  27. SO glad your mom is doing better. I had a scare when my mom passed out the day of my bridal shower and was hospitalized overnight. She’s OK now and but I pay a ALOT more attention to both of my parents health and the medications they are taking.

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