Pooped

Note: This post does not include photos.  You will thank me later.

Yesterday, after returning home from a delightful lunch with the world traveler known as DiscoDiva, I was delighted to put Regan down for a nap so I could enjoy the quiet of the rain.  I hadn’t been online all weekend, so I was looking forward to a little “Me” time.  I had put her sheets in the wash, so I put her in my bed for her nap.  I gave her kisses and headed downstairs.

About 15 minutes later, I heard the pitter patter of little feet.  From of the top of the stairs my baby called out, “Momma, Regan Poop!”  Alrighty then.  I headed upstairs to change her diaper.  When I got to the stairs and looked up, I saw Regan standing there in her pretty (and brand new) dress that she received for her birthday.  It was covered in poop.

Begrudgingly, I headed upstairs.  I figured she had what we call a “bad poop” and it had leaked out.  That’s not what happened.  You see, what had happened was…

That baby took off her diaper in MY bed.  Then walked to the edge of the bed and pooped.  On.My.Bed.  Then I guess she needed to alert me so she shimmied down the bed.  Hence, poop all over her dress.  Oh and did I mention there was poop in my bedroom hallway.  I’m guessing it fell off the dress.

You’ll be proud to know I didn’t scream or raise my voice.  I just went into action.  I scooped that baby up and put her in her bathtub.  I slipped the dress off and turned the shower on at full speed.  It was like Silkwood up in that camp.  Regan stood there crying and I was demanding she get the poop off.  I refused to touch it.

After I cleaned her up, I had to clean my carpet and my bedspread.  Oh, did I mention the poop was creamy.  Creamy, y’all.  Yes, I said CREAMY.

Naturally, there ain’t enough soap and water that’s gonna get me to sleep with that comforter again until it’s been to the dry cleaner.  So I had to make up my bed with the entire bedding from the guest room.  This is the second $36 dry cleaning bill I’ve had to to pay this year because of her bodily fluids.  Momma is not pleased.

Anywho, needless to say, naptime was a BUST.  Regan was on saltines and water for the rest of the day.  And she will never, ever nap in my bed again.

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4 Responses to Pooped

  1. Ms. Smart says:

    Wow. My heart goes out to you both. I hope she’s feeling better.

  2. Honest says:

    Yikes!

  3. onefromphilly says:

    ewwwww.. 😦

  4. Ames says:

    I think babies sign contracts prior to leaving heaven. They agree to take actions to enusure every mom has lots of stories about poop.

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